Self-Confidence & Lingerie: The Real Quiet Luxury

Hey friends,

It's Raine again, and I'm back with another late night thought about lingerie and fashion. You know how rather recently, there's been a trend where everybody is trying to look wealthy, but like...quietly? Well, somehow I found myself on quiet luxury t*ktok the other night, listening to that one person with the clearest skin ever whisper advice about designer bags into my ears at 3 a.m. (you know who I'm talking about), and it got me thinking about the real meaning of luxury. 

There are about two criteria that I can think of right now for what would make something a luxury: difficult to obtain, and it makes the person who has obtained it feel good in some way. I could be missing some other criteria, but let's just work with this for a bit. 

If living in luxury is a state of being that is described as difficult to attain for most people, except a select few, and it is something that makes you feel good, whether it be the sensual smoothness of silk sheets or a trip to Bali where you have your own isolated house on the beach, then wouldn't self-confidence be considered one of the greatest luxuries? 

Not A Dupe

Now hear me out—I’m not talking about the fake kind of self-confidence that anyone can spot from a mile away and makes the whole room cringe. No room for inflated egos here. And I'm not even talking about the fake self-confidence that you muster up every time you have to walk into a crowded room alone. I'm talking about the real kind of self-confidence, the thing everyone (even those with more than $3 currently in their bank account) wants and struggles to get, but only a few can truly attain it. But most people don't realize or put enough serious thought into the idea that in order to get this highly sought after thing, there are a few prerequisites.  

Ah! Of course, the prerequisites! Can't forget about those. The sales associates won't even mention this year's it-bag to you until you've bought my entire student loan's worth of silk scarves and gold keychains. Don't even dream about it.  So why would one of the world's rarest luxuries come without one?

It is a bit rare, but true self-confidence does exist. There are just a few things you have to do first, before it even becomes an option. 

The Coolest Girl in the Room

You know how at every event you go to there's always that one girl that all the other girls just think is the coolest ever? And everyone wants to talk to her and meet her because she just seems like she would be so much fun to get brunch with and get to know? Well, I'll tell you something about her. 

She knows herself.  

Yeah, she has somehow skipped the line and already checked out at the self-identity kiosk. But don't worry, because if she could do it, then so can you. Now look, (*disclaimer time) I'm not a therapist so don't bother asking me questions about therapy stuff. That is not in my job description. But maybe I can help you start on the journey to self-identity through clothing, like lingerie. 

The only question is: are you willing to do the work? I never said that that girl who skipped the self-identity check-out line got her stuff for free. That's not how it works. You see, she's gone through the whole trials and tribulations thing to get to where she is. She's tried on outfit after outfit, listened to influencer after influencer, and even meditated on it until she found the answer. You're going to have to do the same thing. 

I find that most styles of clothing are not simply limited to the clothing itself but extend to a certain kind of lifestyle that goes along with it. In other words, when you put on a certain piece of clothing, you want to get the most out of it, and so you try your best to embody the kind of lifestyle it lends itself to. When you put on a red dress, you do red dress kinda things. Sometimes the lifestyle fits, but most often only for a day or so, and you're still left feeling empty and wandering aimlessly. A leather jacket kind of lifestyle is very different from a un-dyed, organic cotton palazzo pants kind of lifestyle. You're just going to have to try things out until you find something that feels like a second skin. 

My suggestion? Go through this process with your underwear first. That's why I started this whole company to begin with. When you make the switch from silk French knickers to a loud and vibrant thong, no one would even know that you're going through a process until they see the final product—an elevated version of your true self. And that's when you can be that girl who gets to skip the self-identity check-out line, while the rest of us are still waiting in the queue regretting not getting a cart. You'll be glowing soon enough.

The True Luxury Lingerie 

But wait. I almost forgot the second prerequisite. Here’s the thing: After you figure out what fits best for you, you have to accept it. Only then is there even a possibility of true self-confidence in your future. 

You see, self-confidence is such a luxury because there is a huge difference between the lifestyles and clothing styles that fit you and your innermost personality at this point in time, and the ones that you want to fit you. This is not to say that you can't live whatever lifestyle or dress however you want, or that style is something already predetermined for you and will never change along the course of your life. Of course not. I'm saying that the styles we want and the styles that fit us and make us feel most fulfilled, don't always match up. It takes some real mental backflips to be at peace with this. 

It is such a luxury to walk out of your house wearing something that is completely true to who you really are, disregarding the trends. But it is even more of a luxury to believe, without reservations, that if anyone has a problem with it, whether they stare, or laugh, or whisper, then that's their problem, not your's. 

It takes a lot of bravery to do this, and I'm still working on it too. That's why I try it out with my lingerie first, and you should give it a try with your lingerie too—can’t hurt. It's all about the baby steps at the end of the day. 

Lots of love,

Raine