The Thing About Sexy Lingerie

Hey friends, 

I'm back again, and this time I'm gonna make it a bit shorter because I've got some of my trashy reality tv episodes just waiting for me to catch up on. 

Ok so on with the lingerie theory for today... 

Types of Lingerie As Tools

Sexy lingerie is simply a tool, and nothing more, because the wearer is the one that does the heavy lifting. Now, hear me out, because this isn't necessarily a new thought but we might need a reminder. 

Think of the types of lingerie that you could possibly buy: the intense-looking black lingerie with a bunch of straps that are going to take you a whole hour to figure out how to put on,  the red lingerie with a bunch of swirly embroidery that you can't stop running your fingers over every time you take it out of the drawer, the white lingerie with lace so delicate that you get heart palpitations every time you try to slip into it, the trusty neon sports bra that you wear to the gym to look cool in, and the pink frilly lingerie with bows attached at every angle, that makes you feel like a girl again.

That list was longer than I thought it was going to be, but I guess it turns out that there's a type of lingerie for every vibe. Now think of those different types of lingerie as different types of tools, and hold that thought while I tell a little story. 

Storytime!

Back when I was in college, junior year I lived in a dorm room with a couple of other girls, and you know what happens to the shower when you live with a bunch of girls—it seemed like it was clogged almost every week with all of the hair and body scrubs and conditioners and whatnot. It was a real inconvenience, and it would always pop up by Friday night, just when everyone was either trying to get ready to go out or get ready for a relaxing night in. 

The thing was, each girl always had a different way of solving the problem while everyone else would just stand around in our tiny bathroom watching her put her hands in the nasty backed up water. One girl would go and get a wire hanger and take forever to bend it until it was perfect, just to then shove it down into the drain to clear away the hair and let the water out. Sometimes it worked. 

Another girl would put on her coat and walk off of campus to the store around the corner and just get some drain cleaner to get the job done. That worked too. The third girl would just rather call the campus facilities office and wait the 5-7 business days for them to send the campus handyman guy to solve the problem, before packing up her bag and leaving to stay with her boyfriend for the week. Not saying that didn't work, because it did work... for her. Me? I would just get the plunger and plunge the heck out of that drain until the nasty backed up water went down, then disinfect the shower later. And you know what? It worked, so don't judge me. They

You see, every method worked, but not every method would work for every girl., because each girl was totally different and comfortable with different things. I wasn't going to put my hands all in the water like the one girl with the hanger, but I was willing to sweat a little by plunging it. The other girl didn't want to put in a lot of work, but would rather put on her coat and go outside to get the solution to our problem. I was already in my robe by that point in the evening, so that was a no for me. The last girl wanted no part of it at all, and would rather make the call to get someone who knew what they were doing to come and solve our problem even if it took them days to come, but the girl who used the bent hanger didn't like talking on the phone with people. 

The Sexy Red Lingerie Question

Not every method worked for every girl. The same thing goes for types of lingerie, especially if you want your lingerie to be particularly sexy that day. Even if red is thought of as a sexy color, red lingerie would never work for me because I don't think I look the best in red. It doesn't matter if I actually do look good in red and red is a sexy color, because I still wouldn't feel good about myself  while wearing it, knowing that it doesn't match up with my self-perception, and the whole vibe would be ruined. And isn't sexiness all about the energy you give off? 

The thing is, you control your own energy. You could be wearing a paper bag and still be considered sexy because that is the kind of energy you give off to others. But if you don't feel sexy in the lingerie that you're wearing, but rather uncomfortable or nervous, even if that type of lingerie is widely considered to be a sexy kind of lingerie, then your plan of being sexy that day is never going to work. It's just not going to work. 

And this is why, when you pick out lingerie that you want to be intentionally sexy, or if someone else is going to pick it out for you, then it needs to be something that actually fits your personality. Is your personality more modest or is it flirty and bold? What color clothing do you like to wear? What styles of clothing do you like to wear? Do you like practical gifts that can be used every day, or do you like pretty little gifts that are meant to be admired and only used for special occasions? All of these questions will point you toward the right kind of sexy lingerie for you, because you define your own sexiness and no one else. Besides, there are tons of different ideas of what is sexy out there, not just one. The thing is, you just have to figure out which idea fits YOU. 

Ok, I'm done for today. We might revisit the sexy lingerie discussion later, but right now I'm ready to watch a group of middle aged women argue at a dinner party over who didn't thank whom for a cheese plate. 

Lots of love, 

Raine